


Alfred Snapped

by McKat



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alfred Pennyworth has seen some things, Alfred Pennyworth is So Done, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Feelings, First Kiss, Idiots in Love, Implied First Time, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Primarily because I can't write smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 09:06:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21389626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKat/pseuds/McKat
Summary: After watching Bruce and Dick for too long, Alfred decides to take things into his own hands.By locking them in the dining room and making them talk it out.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 2
Kudos: 147





	Alfred Snapped

“Alfred, unlock this door. Now!”

“Apologies, Master Bruce,” said the butler over the speakers in the dining room, ”but you two will be staying here until I am satisfied.”

“What does that mean?” Dick asked. 

“It means you two should talk to each other. Have something to drink, too. Good night.”

“Alfred!” Bruce yelled, but there was no answer. He sighed, rubbing his forehead. His butler had snapped. Bruce had always known his chosen lifestyle was taxing on the man, but he never expected Alfred to completely unravel. 

Dick, however, seemed completely at ease leaned back in a chair with his feet propped on the table. “Looks like we’re stuck here for a while. Where do you keep the good stuff around here?”

Bruce came to the realization that he and Dick were not leaving the dining room until Alfred was satisfied. Whatever that meant. He walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and a couple of glasses. 

“Now we’re talking!” Dick exclaimed, leaping out of his chair in an unnecessarily complex way. 

Bruce poured some for each of them and sat down. 

Dick sat on the table in front of Bruce. “So. What did you do to tick the butler off?”

Bruce fixed Dick with his signature  _ watch yourself _ glare. “What makes you think  _ I  _ did something?” 

The younger man raised a knowing eyebrow. 

Bruce sighed and leaned back in his chair, trying to think about the past few days and what could have prompted this reaction out of Alfred. 

—————-

**2 DAYS EARLIER **

**BATCAVE**

Alfred watched Nightwing and Batman as they sparred on the mats. It occurred to him how much Dick had improved over the years as Robin and then as Nightwing. The fight seemed to be fairly even. 

As soon as he thought that Dick might have the upper hand, however, Bruce landed a kick to Dick’s knee and floored him. In a flash he was straddling the younger man and pressing Nightwing’s hands to the ground above his head. Dick struggled against him for a moment, but Bruce was much stronger - he didn’t have a chance. 

“Your armor is too weak around your knees.”

Dick nodded, breathing heavily. 

“I can work on it while you’re in Gotham. Reinforce them.” 

Nightwing nodded again. “Yeah,” he said breathlessly. 

Bruce stood up and put out a hand to help Dick stand. In the blink of an eye, however, Dick had used Bruce’s hand and lowered guard to pull him down to the ground and flipped so their situation was reversed. Bruce was strong, but Dick was putting all of his weight into keeping the other man pinned. “You should have seen that coming, B.”

“I did.” He wrapped his legs around Dick’s torso and pulled him off, returning to his earlier perch atop Dick. “You forgot my legs.”

Dick laughed breathlessly. “Ok, ok, you win. Happy?” This time when Bruce offered a hand Dick took it and stood beside him, patting the Bat’s shoulder. “I’ll leave my suit down here after I change clothes.”

Bruce nodded and walked towards Alfred at the Batcomputer. 

“Master Dick is quite skilled.”

Bruce nodded.

“He rarely lets himself get hit in the knees - that’s a fairly amateur mistake.”

“Which he just made.”

“Well him fighting you is different from him fighting the average criminal in Blüdhaven.”

Bruce was working at the computer and didn’t look up at Alfred as they spoke. “There are combat trained criminals in the world.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Bruce stopped typing but didn’t look up at the butler. “What did you mean then?”

“I mean he’s clearly not as focused when he fights you.”

“Why wouldn’t he be?”

Alfred shrugged, dusting off a random shelf. “Maybe because you’re his friend? His mentor? His trainer?” He left more unsaid, thinking Bruce would catch his drift.

He did not. “Regardless, I need to strengthen the armor at his knees.”

“I just informed you that is less than necessary-“

Bruce cut him off. “He needs to be as protected as I can make him,” he said heatedly. 

Alfred nodded and turned away. “Of course, Master Bruce.” He cleaned a few more shelves but Bruce seemed less than eager to continue the conversation. Eventually the butler started for the elevator to the mansion. 

Dick walked past him, hair wet from a quick shower and carrying his suit to Batman. “Hey, Alfred.” 

“Hello, Master Dick.”

“Did you watch us sparring?”

“Indeed,” he said with a nod. “You didn’t seem as focused as usual, however.”

Dick flushed slightly and looked to make sure they were out of earshot from Bruce. “Don’t… don’t say anything to him, please? It would be humiliating. That cold shower took care of it but…” he sighed, covering his eyes. “Oh good grief - you  _ so  _ do not want to hear about this.” 

Alfred put a comforting hand on the young Master’s shoulder. “You can confide in me. Believe me, I have seen and heard worse than a young man’s raging hormones.”

“Just…“ His face grew an even deeper red and he distinctly looked as though he’d rather be anywhere else. Eventually he sighed and continued. “He always insists on straddling me and… good grief, I think he knows what he does to me and is just torturing me.”

Alfred smiled. “Believe me, I don’t think he is aware. He can be… oblivious to some things.”

“Yeah, well, I’m gonna bring this to him.” He smiled at the butler but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. 

Alfred nodded and returned to the mansion, a plan forming. 

—————

**PRESENT**

**DINING ROOM**

Bruce shook his head. “I don’t know. I’ve not talked to him much lately. Been busy, I guess. How about you?”

Dick remembered the conversation in the Batcave and began to blush, drinking to try and hide it. This didn’t work against the detective, of course. 

“You know something.” It wasn’t a question. 

“Um… I don’t know… maybe? I mean I talked to him but I don’t know if it had anything to do with this.”

“Was it pertaining to me?”

“Uh… yeah.” Dick looked down at his feet to avoid the man’s gaze. He felt a hole being drilled into his head by the glare fixed on him by his mentor, however, but he’d gotten good at ignoring those over the years. 

Dick ran a hand through his hair and bit his lips briefly as he considered what to say. “It was after we had practiced in the Cave the other day,” he finally said. 

“What did you talk about?”

Dick finally met Bruce’s eyes. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Why not? Apparently Alfred thinks it’s something that you should tell me. Why else would he lock us in here?” He stood from his seat and leaned against the table, closing in on Dick’s space. 

Dick gulped at the sudden proximity. “Bruce… I’m not drunk enough for this right now,” he said under his breath. 

Bruce kept holding Dick’s gaze for a little longer (a few seconds that felt like a short eternity to Nightwing) before taking Dick’s cup and refilling it. 

“Thanks,” he took the cup from Bruce and drained it almost instantly. “Might wanna just hand me the bottle. Save yourself a few trips.”

————-

**TWO HOURS LATER**

**DINING ROOM **

The two men had moved to sit on the floor in front of the fireplace. Dick was laughing at a story Bruce had told him about a patrol with Tim. Bruce had seemed to completely drop the subject of their predicament and warmed up to the idea of being in a room alone with Dick for some time. 

Dick looked at Bruce’s small smile, a rarity, and it nearly took his breath away. He knew another question about his and Alfred’s talk in the Cave was going to surface eventually. He took stock and decided he was either brave enough or drunk enough to bring it up. 

“Bruce, you know that I… when I was a teenager, I had this  _ massive  _ crush on you.”

Bruce’s smile vanished and he looked taken aback. 

“Oh come on, you can’t tell me you didn’t know. Seriously?” He laughed and shook his head, lying down on his back in the floor in front of the fire. “I mean, you were this suave billionaire by day and this amazing crime fighter by night. Of course I had a crush on you.”

Bruce stayed completely still, looking at the fire but giving the distinct impression he wasn’t seeing it. “Is that what Alfred did this for?”

The temptation was there to just say yes and get out of this awkward situation with some dignity left. But Alfred would find out and this would happen again, and Bruce would be upset with him for lying. No, he decided, it was best to go ahead and completely come clean.

“Not quite. When we sparred the other day… did you not, uh… notice anything?”

Bruce shook his head slowly. “Like what?”

Dick sighed and covered his face with his hands. “You had me so turned on straddling me I thought I was going to explode,” he said in a slurred rush. He wasn’t about to move his hands to see the other man’s reaction. “Please don’t hate me,” he said softly. 

He heard Bruce shift and knew he was walking away from him, disgusted and - wait - what?

Dick moved his hands and saw Bruce had moved to his side. “I don’t hate you,” he said in a deep voice. His leg moved and he was straddling Dick on the floor, sitting up and looking down at him. “I was afraid you’d noticed I was in a similar situation.”

“You - what?” His brain was too addled by the alcohol to make sense of everything, not to mention the difficulties of ignoring his growing… situation. 

Bruce braced his hands on either side of Dick’s head and lowered his face closer to the younger man’s. “I said I was in a similar state.”

Dick was still confused “Huh?”

“When you became Nightwing and we got some distance I realized I miss you when you’re not here. I thought I just missed your company because you’re my friend, but I realized… that wasn’t all. After you were an adult I realized I was attracted to you. I assume that crush you mentioned earlier never went away?” 

Dick nodded. “Bruce?”

“Yeah?”

“Kiss me.”

The older man obliged. It was soft and tentative, each afraid of crossing some line somewhere and losing whatever was beginning to happen. Bruce put his hands in Dick’s hair and felt its softness between his fingers. For his part, Dick had his hands on Bruce’s hips. Eventually they parted and both sat, breathless, looking in each other’s eyes. 

“I’ve been wanting that longer than I’d like to admit,” Dick said smiling. 

“Me too,” Bruce said, and kissed him again. This time was more intense, teeth and tongues and pulling each other as close as possible. 

“Think Alfred will let us out yet?”

“Maybe,” Bruce replied. “But I wouldn’t mind being here with you for a little while longer.”

—————

**NEXT MORNING**

**DINING ROOM**

Bruce woke up with Dick resting against his chest. He was confused as to why, and what he was doing in the floor, until he remembered the night before. 

He allowed one of his rare smiles. 

“I see the two of you spoke,” came Alfred’s voice over the speakers a few minutes later. 

“Yeah,” Bruce said. “I’m gonna have to have words with an insubordinate butler at some point, though.”

“Master Bruce,” Alfred chided, “It was for your own good.”

Bruce looked down and smiled at the sight of Dick slowly stirring. “I suppose you have a point.”

“Always,” Alfred replied, unlocking the dining room door and then going about his duties. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. Catch me on tumblr at in-between-sleep-and-awake


End file.
